Kenyan songbird, Vivian and her fiancé, Sam West have opened up that raising children from previous relationships is not a walk in the park.
Coming together therefore meant that they have to accommodate each other´s child, and be patient with them because this would greatly influence their lives.
Sam West said that introducing another person in a family set-up can be depressing and stressing to the child because of the dramatic shift and new reality.
“You’ve gotten into a new relationship; you’ve met a new person, sasa you have to tell your kid this is your new step mum. Of course, it’s depressing to the child. Actually it’s very depressing because now you have to allow the child to mourn the death of the previous relationship and now you’re introducing the child to a new relationship. Maybe huyo mtoto alikuwa first born in the old relationship na sasa ankua second or last born in this new relationship. It can be confusing.”
For Vivian, introducing a new man to her 10-year old daughter needed time and dedication. The sultry singer added that she could only introduce a man she was sure was the one.
Finally, their worlds merged as well as that of their kids, having to treat them equally but with unconditional love.
The “Marshati” singer advised women to see pregnancy as a deviation and not a punishment, since one can still pursue their goals and careers.
“In as much as we need to talk about waiting to be in a relationship in order to start getting children, it is important to understand that once you get a child, it is important to deal with it.”
In his closing remarks, Sam West advised gentlemen getting into new relationships as step fathers to equally love their partner and the kids she brings along.
“It’s about the relationship with your partner. When you’re coming together, you were not in love with the kids, you were in love with your partner. Ukimpenda unabeba kila kitu amekuja nayo. Ni kama ng’ombe ukikula unakula mpaka mkia. You have to make sure the relationship between your wife and yourself is intact.”
Sam West has a six-year old son and Vivian has a 10-year old daughter.